1 December: Seeing others as a way to resolve conflict.
The Enkanini Team participated in Shawna Snow’s Module, “How do I make up after a fight without giving in?
We had a lively Socratic Seminar that ended up being more of a debate, so we switched gears as we all noticed the topic was filled with layers of emotions and thoughts that make it difficult to unpack at first.
Seeing others as a way to resolve conflict. We must gain awareness of what stands in the way of us seeing others as important as we are - not more important or less important. This is what respect looks like - SEEing someone is acknowledging them - and the way we get connected to that concept is to consider their needs, fears, and goals. This births space in us to SEE them - our tendency when we even begin to SEE them is to justify our point of view regarding them and why it's ok that treat them as we do. Choosing to lean into that can be challenging - and that is where we find our emotions fighting to be right.
If you found yourself struggling with this yesterday, welcome to humanity!
We got familiar with the Arbinger Institute’s book, “Choose Well” and strategies outlined in their “The Outward Mindset” book.
We went through a simple process that does reduce conflict - SAM -
S- Seeing others- asking yourself what their hopes, fears and goals are? Like really fleshing this out until you feel a shift inside, a softness towards that person- that indicates that you are SEEing them.
A- Aligning yourself with them - How might you align what they want with what you want, so you both are moving forward in a healthier way?
M - Measure your impact - How did you do? Have you resolved the conflict? Is the situation better for both of you?
We all made commitments to follow through with this process with a school-related conflict and a home-related conflict. They were partnered up for encouragement and accountability to take steps to resolve the issue before the holiday break.
This is awesome!
InSite’s tag line - Potential unlocked through relationships - In Action and it’s so true - we need each other to better ourselves.