Hello Tree People!
This page is only visible to you. Let's start with that so I can talk freely with you. What's the deal with the oil? Here's my not-so-short-story.
I've dreaded my 50th birthday for years and decided about 6 months ago that I needed to change my mindset about it or I was doomed to make all my worst fears come true and miss out on how great my life could be.
As I look back, wondering why I was so down on 50, I think it boiled down to a few key false beliefs.
1. I felt guilty that I was alive and enjoying life without Dan (late husband).
2. I felt like I should be at a different place in my life - like I should have figured something out, or achieved greatness in some field, or been singled out as a master something.
3. Then, what I really began to face was that I got comfortable and stopped taking as many risks, and kept making similar choices that kept me running in circles. Why? I was believing if I really lived out my divine purpose, I'd be more of a burden to others. I bother people. I would seem needy and pushy. I'd probably be rejected, and I really don't like that, so I'll just stay where I am comfortable and tell myself I want a simple life and it's no big deal that I'm not where I could be - you know, I've chosen this path, so that makes it ok.
So, then I made choice. I decided this is not how I want to continue to live and not how I want to begin a new decade. It's not what I want to model to my kids, those I work alongside and not how I want to live my life with Naos.
The dominos started to fall... I found that my work with InSite was not doing anything for me ( that was hard to admit and face), the more honest I got with myself, more crap started surfacing, BUT this time, I didn't fall apart, I embraced the process and was curious to see where it would lead.
Emotions. Let me be real about this.
I am a high thinker, in Myers-Briggs talk. I know, in my head that they are important. I've had mentors, soul friends, therapists over the years coach me helping me make sense of them. Almost all my kids and husband are Feelers, so I've been surrounded with reminders to PAY ATTENTION to them. So, I come at this topic from a very "heady" space and sometimes with an eye roll and deep breath cause I know that I'm not going to like where this conversation leads. The best version of myself leans in and the worst of me wants to find a book or watch a movie.
Right, Emotions. Most of the ones I feel are not the ones I want. That's the reality of my inner life right now. I have moments of deep happiness, or joy or excitement. Most of the time, I feel more on the sad or meh side. That's not very inspiring and not really what I want. Before I made that first choice mentioned above, I had resolved into believing "that was just how I am" and now I don't think so.
So then the BIG question, what did I want to see more of in my life?
- More of... my feelings matching my wonderful life... and
- releasing feelings of rejection.
- deep connection with friends.
I needed to take action if I wanted to materialize what I wanted to see more of.
Things I'm tired of and am changing. (Getting rid of what is not serving me anymore)
1. Music- I love music and after Dan died, I couldn't listen to LOADS of it cause it was a HUGE trigger for me and I didn't have the capacity to deal with it. LIFE was too much. I had to make some life saving choices to function. So now, many years later, I will hear a song, and I'll start crying. NO! I am done with it. Choice - I want my music back. So, I'm practicing the emotional healing techniques - releasing the trapped negative emotions, releasing the limiting beliefs that accompany these emotions so that I can receive the healing and restoration. I've been using a particular oil blend, Console in this process. In a garden analogy, if you wanna pull weeds, it's easier if you water the soil, right? So, essential oils prepare our emotional soil to ease the removal.
So far, I've claimed back a significant chuck of music, and it FEELS so empowering to listen to songs and have a feeling of gratitude and not sadness. FREEDOM! YES!
2. Stuff - We've gone through the house and purged. We asked the simple question, Is this item serving us in any way? If the answer is no - it's GONE. We want to make room in our house for what we want to have, create and enjoy. If we've got stagnant old things that are cluttering up our space, there's no room for the goodness we want.
3. InSite - what wasn't serving me with InSite was the limiting belief that I was a burdening others on my staff if I gave them too much to do, so I did like a lot. So, I fessed up and expressed my unhappiness, and they too expressed their feelings, and we have spent the whole summer reimagining the whole thing. I had to let go and embrace what others had to say and give them a safe space to express thoughts/feelings that they feared would upset me. It was a process for me to hold it all lightly in my hand and offer it up, realizing I may not get it back. So many thoughts of failure and discouragement could have blocked the progress, but I was aware of what was happening internally and I was able to release and receive - the same process I did with the music but I used different oils - Balance blend, wild orange, peace and probably a couple others.
We've created something we all LOVE. Together. It's been a wonderful process and I am excited to see all of us dive in this year. I know it will be more messy, because it will be all new but that's ok, cause I am not doing it all alone. YAY!
There are bigger and smaller things I've changed over the summer that are aiding me in this process. Taking more control over my health and body. I've tackled some things I've been postponing in my health and experimenting with oils to see if I can self treat and get the outcomes I'm looking for - so far, I've experienced enough success to keep going. I've switched out all of our cleaning products and all my personal bathroom products to all natural and no synthetic chemicals: all to reduce the toxic load my body has to deal with on a daily basis.
My birthday is here. I think it's the first time in my life I am digging the fact that I have it at the beginning of September. It feels like a NEW YEAR. It feels like a huge kick off. And that is where you and the journal and the oil come in.
More of... So I addressed the emotional issues I listed in journal above, now the deeper connections with people.
I've been thinking it may be a bit weird that I've claimed you as part of my Tree community and didn't ask you if you wanted it. I wonder if that's how trees feel. Like, they start growing where their seed lands and at some point is there an awareness that these are the trees it will be surrounded with for the rest of it's life? There is no choice for trees. On the other hand, we have some choice in choosing our friends, but do we choose everyone we impact? Maybe you didn't know you had an impact on me, or you never really thought about it. In all honesty, before this project, I hadn't really thought about this much either, but now, it's raised my awareness on how much we actually impact others just by living our lives. What would happen if we were actually intentional about it?
This question prompted the gift to you - first it was the journal, then when I started experimenting with oils, I decided to add them and expand the experiment. I do love sharing things that have helped me and think they may help you. And the intentionality with my birthday is a kind of launch for me and for Naos as we both was to see more intention with friends and family. So, we've come up with a master plan. (insert evil laugh). For those who live around us, we will be hosting monthly dinners - with a chef and intentional topics/aims for the evening. It's going to be super cool and we've got loads of ideas.
For those who don't live close by... I'm less clear, but would love to hear any ideas. I mean, scheduling more Facetime for sure, but what else? Shoot me your thoughts.
BTW - I should have added where I got the information on the oil I gave you. The descriptions of the oils were taken from a book: Emotions and Essential Oils: A reference guide for emotional healing.
Maybe reading this brings up questions or thoughts for you, if so, I'd love to talk with you about it. Being part of my Tree Community, I'd love to see how we can support one another in pursuing what we want to see more of in our lives. What's your burning question and what's your biggest challenge? Shoot me a message and let's chat! I'd love to follow up with you on the oil I sent. Use it and let's share experiences.
Here is something I wrote - a bonus for you - especially all my 40+ friends who have entered the wonderful world of menopause or perimenopause.